yu just got to deal with things one at a time. not looking too far ahead. that brings about unexpected stumbling blocks that could have been dealt with, but now its just too late. so yu just deal with the extra pain/hurt/sadness, whatever yu wanna call it. it'll become a cycle in the end. so stop it from repeating itself.
its been a long tiring day. 11hrs of sch. im surprised ive survived. somehow i feel acomplished, but fucking tired. and yet, here i am, when there's marcom presentation tmr and marketing channels presentation the following day. ill treat myself at the end of the week for a good academic week, which rarely happens. but i hope it'll be a weekly thing. :) though im still thinking what ill be treating myself to. heh. ive no idea!! heh.
being in hall for long, spending almost everyday here, life has shaped itself to be accustomed to whats around me. getting used to the people, the environment. and i come to decisions about what i want in my life. and it just takes some stepping out of here to get me questioning on these decisions. have i become too enclosed? or am i just fickle? can i really stand up for what i want? will others thoughts about it influence me? am i scared of being judged? i dont know right now. instbility. soon to pass, hopefully.
-im missing home. and i sent a msg to my mum telling her i missed her bad. and she conveniently didnt reply me. boo. dont get used to life without me mummy!!
praying the presentation will go fine although its only 4-fucking-% of the final grade. bah. which i just found out today.
it's all but a show, no? hide what's true within. yet, eventually, is that even what's true?
its been a long tiring day. 11hrs of sch. im surprised ive survived. somehow i feel acomplished, but fucking tired. and yet, here i am, when there's marcom presentation tmr and marketing channels presentation the following day. ill treat myself at the end of the week for a good academic week, which rarely happens. but i hope it'll be a weekly thing. :) though im still thinking what ill be treating myself to. heh. ive no idea!! heh.
being in hall for long, spending almost everyday here, life has shaped itself to be accustomed to whats around me. getting used to the people, the environment. and i come to decisions about what i want in my life. and it just takes some stepping out of here to get me questioning on these decisions. have i become too enclosed? or am i just fickle? can i really stand up for what i want? will others thoughts about it influence me? am i scared of being judged? i dont know right now. instbility. soon to pass, hopefully.
-im missing home. and i sent a msg to my mum telling her i missed her bad. and she conveniently didnt reply me. boo. dont get used to life without me mummy!!
praying the presentation will go fine although its only 4-fucking-% of the final grade. bah. which i just found out today.
it's all but a show, no? hide what's true within. yet, eventually, is that even what's true?
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 1/30/2007 04:06:00 am | Put your comment here
im back..after a long long while. just been pretty sick lately. recovering a bit, then falling awfully sick again. and the cycle just goes on. seriously irritating. wed was the extreme sickness period. i felt so faint my mum had to cab all the way down here to pick me up and bring me home just for a few hours after which my ass had to be dragged back to hall for netball training which started at 10 plus pm and ended after midnight. well, it was worth it in the end cos we thrashed hall 6 30-12 in the finals, emerging netball champs once again for dont know how many consecutive years alr. it was a great feeling. satisfying. but doesnt make up for the bad play of all the other sports. oh well, ih's over for me. but ill still be there cheering the guys on in the remaining guys games. soccer, softball, rugby, polo- if they even play. hehh.. yup.. lets aim to clinch the golds for the rest! :)
so my illness has left me missing the whole weeks lessons. well, will make it up with proper work for the rest of the sem. been drinking quite a bit lately with ong, and then last night was with the netballers to celebrate our win. :) i want my bols!!! love it. i could just drink the whole bottle. heh. okay maybe not. but ya.
been a tiring 2 weeks. trying to deal with so many things/people. and yu just gotta do it yourself which makes it more tiring. sigh. but things are looking up now. talking to certain people actually makes me happy and keeps me going. and im glad for that for now.
im sorry friends. those ive been ignoring totally this week. its not that im pissed or anything. i just needed some time to myself. to deal everthing in hall. just too tired to handle everything else. welcome to the real world sadaf! hahh.
well, so many photos to upload but lazy sadaf wants to have a early night tonight. so that'll be done another day! :)
nights!
oh have i mentioned how much i love goong. i was hooked to it during my sick week. hahh. im glad im done wit it. so i wont keep awake into the wee hours anymore. wheeee. :)
okay nights!!
so my illness has left me missing the whole weeks lessons. well, will make it up with proper work for the rest of the sem. been drinking quite a bit lately with ong, and then last night was with the netballers to celebrate our win. :) i want my bols!!! love it. i could just drink the whole bottle. heh. okay maybe not. but ya.
been a tiring 2 weeks. trying to deal with so many things/people. and yu just gotta do it yourself which makes it more tiring. sigh. but things are looking up now. talking to certain people actually makes me happy and keeps me going. and im glad for that for now.
im sorry friends. those ive been ignoring totally this week. its not that im pissed or anything. i just needed some time to myself. to deal everthing in hall. just too tired to handle everything else. welcome to the real world sadaf! hahh.
well, so many photos to upload but lazy sadaf wants to have a early night tonight. so that'll be done another day! :)
nights!
oh have i mentioned how much i love goong. i was hooked to it during my sick week. hahh. im glad im done wit it. so i wont keep awake into the wee hours anymore. wheeee. :)
okay nights!!
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 1/26/2007 11:44:00 pm | Put your comment here
im a thorn.
it was weird today. didnt say much, lost the appetite, lost the mood. and amazed at the inconsideration of some people whom im supposed to call my friends, or maybe they were just my classmates.
i feared taking that step to the party, for if i saw them happy, or just saw her, itd make me feel awkward. yet, i went. and she wasnt there. some said he said it was for political reasons, and we all know what that is. i was surprised, that at least there was some consideration into not making me feel awkward, but yet, i was sad. for if i knew my presence would prevent her being there at his party, prevent the person he loved most from being there, i wouldnt have gone. cos ultimately, she makes him happy and should be there to share it, and thats whats important. im sorry for being there.
read somewhere on a friends blog about this thing called love. and how we've come to measure love in the ability to provide, in every sense, financially, emotionally, physically. i find this so true when i reflect on people,friends,whoever, asking me why i love him so much. and every time i said i cant explain it. i never measured it in terms of what he provides me. and im glad in a way. and yet, it makes it so much harder.
but as usual, life goes on. theres a life away from the people who remind me of the past (im sorry friends, if yu are a part of that). a life im satisfied with. cos theres a goal now. something that was hindered back then. well, off to bed.
me-get well soon
yu- happy birthday
it was weird today. didnt say much, lost the appetite, lost the mood. and amazed at the inconsideration of some people whom im supposed to call my friends, or maybe they were just my classmates.
i feared taking that step to the party, for if i saw them happy, or just saw her, itd make me feel awkward. yet, i went. and she wasnt there. some said he said it was for political reasons, and we all know what that is. i was surprised, that at least there was some consideration into not making me feel awkward, but yet, i was sad. for if i knew my presence would prevent her being there at his party, prevent the person he loved most from being there, i wouldnt have gone. cos ultimately, she makes him happy and should be there to share it, and thats whats important. im sorry for being there.
read somewhere on a friends blog about this thing called love. and how we've come to measure love in the ability to provide, in every sense, financially, emotionally, physically. i find this so true when i reflect on people,friends,whoever, asking me why i love him so much. and every time i said i cant explain it. i never measured it in terms of what he provides me. and im glad in a way. and yet, it makes it so much harder.
but as usual, life goes on. theres a life away from the people who remind me of the past (im sorry friends, if yu are a part of that). a life im satisfied with. cos theres a goal now. something that was hindered back then. well, off to bed.
me-get well soon
yu- happy birthday
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 1/13/2007 01:34:00 am | Put your comment here
its the new year. this year will go by these few words kindly contributed by vane.
'im going to learn to love myself cos im special.' :)
2006 wasnt the best of years, but ive had my share of fun. ive enjoyed my time spent with friends in hall and the rg netballers. it saw me get into the ivp team, which im thankful for. it saw me partying quite a bit, which i enjoyed totally with the netballers. slacking the whole year through and not going for lessons, and i just dont learn every year. 2006 brought an improvement in my gpa, esp for this sem that just passed. this im really happy about. yet, it saw me lose quite a bit of control over myself, but my friends stuck by me through it all. :)
2007 will be a year of being happy. making the right decisions. thinking about myself. we'll see how much of this will be accomplished in the end. :)
come to think of it, once this year ends, ill be garduating soon. scary thought. seems like i aint prepared yet. let this year change some things in my life. :)
last night was watching the fireworks and then to timbre for some great music. i just wished i wasnt so tired. the girls were over for lunch yesterday as well, chengs, joyce, grace, sandy. and we brought saber, my dog for a walk at east coast beach. had some nice fun with them :) photos up later when i get them.
going back to watching some tv!
'im going to learn to love myself cos im special.' :)
2006 wasnt the best of years, but ive had my share of fun. ive enjoyed my time spent with friends in hall and the rg netballers. it saw me get into the ivp team, which im thankful for. it saw me partying quite a bit, which i enjoyed totally with the netballers. slacking the whole year through and not going for lessons, and i just dont learn every year. 2006 brought an improvement in my gpa, esp for this sem that just passed. this im really happy about. yet, it saw me lose quite a bit of control over myself, but my friends stuck by me through it all. :)
2007 will be a year of being happy. making the right decisions. thinking about myself. we'll see how much of this will be accomplished in the end. :)
come to think of it, once this year ends, ill be garduating soon. scary thought. seems like i aint prepared yet. let this year change some things in my life. :)
last night was watching the fireworks and then to timbre for some great music. i just wished i wasnt so tired. the girls were over for lunch yesterday as well, chengs, joyce, grace, sandy. and we brought saber, my dog for a walk at east coast beach. had some nice fun with them :) photos up later when i get them.
going back to watching some tv!
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 1/01/2007 08:14:00 pm | Put your comment here
