one day wasted without studying..arghh..well on the bright side i completed it!!sat down from yest 8 pm to 4 am and continued from noon today till 4pm and im finally done!!!hurray..but got neck ache and back pain from bending too much..bahh..well i hope it'll be worth it..tmr gotta study hardd...coz the weekend's gonna go to waste due to shiftingg..well..have i mentioned my room's done..and the colours are soo nice..yupp..
on a more eventful note..my stupid cousin did something stupid..it was outrageous..sttupid dumb ass..i hate him..sucking my dad dryy..ass..cant stand the sight of him anymoree..
i think my nose getting more sensitive to dust and fur..i keep sneezing and having this itchy throat thingy..the same symptoms as my bro..bahh..and im growing fatter..seriously..ben said so too..and i think so too but i havent done anything to cut down on my food and slim down..sighh..i concluded that staying at home makes me binge and i have no discipline not to binge..so i should stay out and study moree..its ex to eat at coffee bean so i hardly eat which is good for me la.but sidney will be angry if he knows this..at least i know he cares..haha..tskk..
ive decided to go to sch tmr..hope it'll be worth it but i dont like the sound of 2 blocks of lit..bahh..
howww..and i didnt do the pc work..or rather i dont have it to begin with..plehh..well ill just co photocopy in sch and do i guess..till the next time..tata..
on a more eventful note..my stupid cousin did something stupid..it was outrageous..sttupid dumb ass..i hate him..sucking my dad dryy..ass..cant stand the sight of him anymoree..
i think my nose getting more sensitive to dust and fur..i keep sneezing and having this itchy throat thingy..the same symptoms as my bro..bahh..and im growing fatter..seriously..ben said so too..and i think so too but i havent done anything to cut down on my food and slim down..sighh..i concluded that staying at home makes me binge and i have no discipline not to binge..so i should stay out and study moree..its ex to eat at coffee bean so i hardly eat which is good for me la.but sidney will be angry if he knows this..at least i know he cares..haha..tskk..
ive decided to go to sch tmr..hope it'll be worth it but i dont like the sound of 2 blocks of lit..bahh..
howww..and i didnt do the pc work..or rather i dont have it to begin with..plehh..well ill just co photocopy in sch and do i guess..till the next time..tata..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/30/2004 10:37:00 pm | Put your comment here
one day wasted without studying..arghh..well on the bright side i completed it!!sat down from yest 8 pm to 4 am and continued from noon today till 4pm and im finally done!!!hurray..but got neck ache and back pain from bending too much..bahh..well i hope it'll be worth it..tmr gotta study hardd...coz the weekend's gonna go to waste due to shiftingg..well..have i mentioned my room's done..and the colours are soo nice..yupp..
on a more eventful note..my stupid cousin did something stupid..it was outrageous..sttupid dumb ass..i hate him..sucking my dad dryy..ass..cant stand the sight of him anymoree..
i think my nose getting more sensitive to dust and fur..i keep sneezing and having this itchy throat thingy..the same symptoms as my bro..bahh..and im growing fatter..seriously..ben said so too..and i think so too but i havent done anything to cut down on my food and slim down..sighh..i concluded that staying at home makes me binge and i have no discipline not to binge..so i should stay out and study moree..its ex to eat at coffee bean so i hardly eat which is good for me la.but sidney will be angry if he knows this..at least i know he cares..haha..tskk..
ive decided to go to sch tmr..hope it'll be worth it but i dont like the sound of 2 blocks of lit..bahh..
howww..and i didnt do the pc work..or rather i dont have it to begin with..plehh..well ill just co photocopy in sch and do i guess..till the next time..tata..
on a more eventful note..my stupid cousin did something stupid..it was outrageous..sttupid dumb ass..i hate him..sucking my dad dryy..ass..cant stand the sight of him anymoree..
i think my nose getting more sensitive to dust and fur..i keep sneezing and having this itchy throat thingy..the same symptoms as my bro..bahh..and im growing fatter..seriously..ben said so too..and i think so too but i havent done anything to cut down on my food and slim down..sighh..i concluded that staying at home makes me binge and i have no discipline not to binge..so i should stay out and study moree..its ex to eat at coffee bean so i hardly eat which is good for me la.but sidney will be angry if he knows this..at least i know he cares..haha..tskk..
ive decided to go to sch tmr..hope it'll be worth it but i dont like the sound of 2 blocks of lit..bahh..
howww..and i didnt do the pc work..or rather i dont have it to begin with..plehh..well ill just co photocopy in sch and do i guess..till the next time..tata..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/30/2004 10:37:00 pm | Put your comment here
one day wasted without studying..arghh..well on the bright side i completed it!!sat down from yest 8 pm to 4 am and continued from noon today till 4pm and im finally done!!!hurray..but got neck ache and back pain from bending too much..bahh..well i hope it'll be worth it..tmr gotta study hardd...coz the weekend's gonna go to waste due to shiftingg..well..have i mentioned my room's done..and the colours are soo nice..yupp..
on a more eventful note..my stupid cousin did something stupid..it was outrageous..sttupid dumb ass..i hate him..sucking my dad dryy..ass..cant stand the sight of him anymoree..
i think my nose getting more sensitive to dust and fur..i keep sneezing and having this itchy throat thingy..the same symptoms as my bro..bahh..and im growing fatter..seriously..ben said so too..and i think so too but i havent done anything to cut down on my food and slim down..sighh..i concluded that staying at home makes me binge and i have no discipline not to binge..so i should stay out and study moree..its ex to eat at coffee bean so i hardly eat which is good for me la.but sidney will be angry if he knows this..at least i know he cares..haha..tskk..
ive decided to go to sch tmr..hope it'll be worth it but i dont like the sound of 2 blocks of lit..bahh..
howww..and i didnt do the pc work..or rather i dont have it to begin with..plehh..well ill just co photocopy in sch and do i guess..till the next time..tata..
on a more eventful note..my stupid cousin did something stupid..it was outrageous..sttupid dumb ass..i hate him..sucking my dad dryy..ass..cant stand the sight of him anymoree..
i think my nose getting more sensitive to dust and fur..i keep sneezing and having this itchy throat thingy..the same symptoms as my bro..bahh..and im growing fatter..seriously..ben said so too..and i think so too but i havent done anything to cut down on my food and slim down..sighh..i concluded that staying at home makes me binge and i have no discipline not to binge..so i should stay out and study moree..its ex to eat at coffee bean so i hardly eat which is good for me la.but sidney will be angry if he knows this..at least i know he cares..haha..tskk..
ive decided to go to sch tmr..hope it'll be worth it but i dont like the sound of 2 blocks of lit..bahh..
howww..and i didnt do the pc work..or rather i dont have it to begin with..plehh..well ill just co photocopy in sch and do i guess..till the next time..tata..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/30/2004 10:37:00 pm | Put your comment here
its nice to have this thing working again..well, its been a long long day and im super tired..emotional too..well, im kinda feeling some stuff..like a bit of insecurities as well as feeling not being treated too well..more like not being given any attention or whatsoever..bahh..when will he ever understand???tried to tell him but he just said nth,ignored my msges and probably thinks im stupid..but but but try to understnad my feelings..aahhh..well im in a dillema about sth..what to get him??bahh..and im broke but i cant not give him anything..pple were joking with me saying i dont have to give him anything for allthat ive done for him and the lack of what he's done for me..but but but im not like that..i wanna see him happy..give him sth thats significant to what im feeling..be it whether he makes an effort to make me happy or not or even the fact that he may never do such things for me..i feel for him just as much..but sometimes i just wanna feel at ease and contented and happy which i cant get if he treats me this wayy..felt really sad at some stuff that happened in sch in general not only concerning him..i felt very 'out' from the class girls..dunno whyyy..well, when we were in the reading room, heard the guys along with him talking bout going out together or sth like that and doing sth together as just guys on prom night..sighh..he may well not spend prom with me at all..and it'll just spoil my mood seeing him not bothering about me which is quite likely..but i dont want that..i was always looking forward to having a wonderful night with my friends and especially him..which may just not materialise..im not intending to bring him out in a bad light..i mean why would i when i feel so much for him..if only he could appreciate mylove for him..if only instead of wondering why i love him so much when he's mean to me and think im stupid, he could love me just as much as see the better side of it..
bahh..on a lighter note,or rather not so emotional note, had tuition today which was pretty bad considering how much i realised i didnt know..gotta study hard..in a dillema whether to go sch or go study..hmm..got so much to catch up on..i better go turn in soon..okayy..im like in a better mood noww..but i still have to go sleep..nights!
bahh..on a lighter note,or rather not so emotional note, had tuition today which was pretty bad considering how much i realised i didnt know..gotta study hard..in a dillema whether to go sch or go study..hmm..got so much to catch up on..i better go turn in soon..okayy..im like in a better mood noww..but i still have to go sleep..nights!
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/28/2004 10:55:00 pm | Put your comment here
just got home from studying.im super duper tired.the brain's saturated.left sch early so that i can go catch up on studies.hope he studied too.ive decided to pull myself away from everyone.even him.dont wanna be too dependent and at the same time i want better treatment.seriously.but im not gonna like bawl over it or anything.well,ive still got a loong way to go in terms of my work,i better be quick.i wanna be smart this time.haha.and score well.
-interesting story of the day- when i was on my way back in cab,saw this bus conductor guy at a junction waiting to cross the road.and there was this man on bicycle with his young child behind.the bus conductor guy tried to play with the little boy and be nice to him.he streched out his hand to play with the kid and kid just bit his finger real hard..haha.he like jumped up in pain la..haha.kids nowadays,so young yet such a hot temper.hai..hehh..
got back ih results..not very well done at all..disappointed..sighh..and gonna get back drq and case study tmr..i dont wanna fail econss..well its not about passing at this stage so well i just gonna work hard for the a's.i believe ill be able to do it..ive got no encouragement whatsoever from anyone..not even him despite the countless encouragements im always giving him..have this thought in mind but not gonna pen it down..time to change and have dinner..
-interesting story of the day- when i was on my way back in cab,saw this bus conductor guy at a junction waiting to cross the road.and there was this man on bicycle with his young child behind.the bus conductor guy tried to play with the little boy and be nice to him.he streched out his hand to play with the kid and kid just bit his finger real hard..haha.he like jumped up in pain la..haha.kids nowadays,so young yet such a hot temper.hai..hehh..
got back ih results..not very well done at all..disappointed..sighh..and gonna get back drq and case study tmr..i dont wanna fail econss..well its not about passing at this stage so well i just gonna work hard for the a's.i believe ill be able to do it..ive got no encouragement whatsoever from anyone..not even him despite the countless encouragements im always giving him..have this thought in mind but not gonna pen it down..time to change and have dinner..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/27/2004 07:08:00 pm | Put your comment here
omggg...didnt realise my previous post was sooooo long..blame it on the stupid com that didnt allow me to blog for almost a moth..hehh..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/26/2004 09:55:00 pm | Put your comment here
finally..i can blog again..hurray..yup..been wanting to pen down everything i felt every single day but didnt get the chance to..biggest worry on my hands now-a levels..bahh..im doing like fuckkk in my studies..this is bad..i mean i never did study hard enough to get like straight a's or b's but not even this bad..sighh..but im determined to work hard and do well..i hope sidney is determined too..i want him to do well.. :) well i need to settle down first..as in move to my new house quickly!!bahh..and my dad's so inconsiderate as to not showing any urgency to move asap so that my bro and me can get down to studying..well,ive gotta balance stuff noww..so confused about so many things nowww..even netball..mr teh said that sonique gonna combine and go under extremes..i will never make it into the first team la..and im so confused as to what position to play..bahh..its like im too short for a defender and dont think i can play midfield..bahh..sighh..
some things are looking up but some things are badd..im quite happy with the relationship..he's being nice to me..well, not nice as in showering me with love and stuff like that..but at least talking to me properly and we can actually go on a few days without arguing..ive learnt that i cant keep bringing up stuff though i may be unhappy about it..gotta learn to close on eye sometimes..and hope that the situation or whatever may just change la..yup..and im hoping for that in our r/s..
notice the paragraphing?thanks to betty..haha..at least it wont seem to wordy and boring..gotta go sch tmr..will leave after the lectures to go study..yupp..had a chat with a friend sometime last week in sch and the topic about friends came up..its really so true that its hard to find super genuine, true friends..and it always made me sad when i see a different side of a person i consider to be a true friend..kept thinking i have no true friends..but im so wrong..i have true,loyal friends..like betty and levina whom i know i can depend on..esp betty..thanks girlie! its so wonderful to have found a friend like yu and im soooo glad i did..at the same time im missing all my other friends..the serene centre pple and the netballers..they're all probably leading their own happy lives..with the exception of dawn tan and yun they rest are almost non existent..and the funny thing is, i dont exactly feel ive made a whole new group of friends in sa..just a few here and there but not exactly pple i can like have my typical 'girlfriend' talk with or the usual shopping together kinda thing..that's why i keep dragging sidney along with me..i feel bad about it but well,he doesnt understand either..sighh..well,back to the topic..yea..but i guess i cant expect to have a whole pool of supposed good friends..thats ridiculous..im happy with my good friends anyway..yupp..and isolating myself at this point in time is good i guess..to allow me to focus on my studies..but i do feel damn out in sch..really..sidney always wanna hang out with the guys and the girls are nice but there's just something wrong la..its just this girl thing..go figure..so im kinda left alone..alvin and i have some stuff in common- our sensitivity..haha..and i guess its right to have our own space..but its like when i feel lonly and seem lonely..sidney doesnt bother in sch..and he always acts weird with me in sch nowadays..maybe its my over sensitivity..forget it..
as the a's draw closer, and for the great amount of brain cells im using to fret over it, it isnt amazing that everthing i do or see or hear nowadays i try to see whether it relates nack to like hist, econs,lit or gp..im constantly looking out for articles relating to macro econs in the papers..well,just a while longer..and it'll be over..but i wanna feel good about it so im gonna do well and maybe, just maybe ill get to go overseas..i wanna live independently..be independent..and have some freedom..i find singapore suffocating and i wanna go experiance life out there..speaking of that, i just watched this documentary on chimps last night in this reserve in siera leone..apart from the fact that the baby chimps were soooo cute and adorable, it made a huge impact on me in terms of their endangered state and also left me in awe in term of their behaviour..chimps are soo much like humans..its like they need so much affection..the documentary showed one chimp who gave birth..and its like all the other chimps acting on their instincts gathered around her to try and touch the baby and play with it..so human'like and i was left in awe coz i never knew chimps were like so similar to humans..but their no=umbers are depleting so greatly..in 1990 there were 4million of them and now there's only 110,000.. :( and this reserve is managed by a few guys who did it for nothing just coz they have the passion to..and it got me thinking about whether ill ever be able to follow my heart and go learn something that's gotta do with marine biology which happens to be sth im sooo interested in..that means having to like go back a couple of steps just to learn some science subjects..betty said if i really want it nth will hinder me, which is so true..hmm..sighh...its like a choice between taking the conventional path right now or not..and ill probably end up taking the conventional path coz im a chicken..yup..
well,got to go do my work now and catch up on sleep..hope ill be able to blog more often..tata..
some things are looking up but some things are badd..im quite happy with the relationship..he's being nice to me..well, not nice as in showering me with love and stuff like that..but at least talking to me properly and we can actually go on a few days without arguing..ive learnt that i cant keep bringing up stuff though i may be unhappy about it..gotta learn to close on eye sometimes..and hope that the situation or whatever may just change la..yup..and im hoping for that in our r/s..
notice the paragraphing?thanks to betty..haha..at least it wont seem to wordy and boring..gotta go sch tmr..will leave after the lectures to go study..yupp..had a chat with a friend sometime last week in sch and the topic about friends came up..its really so true that its hard to find super genuine, true friends..and it always made me sad when i see a different side of a person i consider to be a true friend..kept thinking i have no true friends..but im so wrong..i have true,loyal friends..like betty and levina whom i know i can depend on..esp betty..thanks girlie! its so wonderful to have found a friend like yu and im soooo glad i did..at the same time im missing all my other friends..the serene centre pple and the netballers..they're all probably leading their own happy lives..with the exception of dawn tan and yun they rest are almost non existent..and the funny thing is, i dont exactly feel ive made a whole new group of friends in sa..just a few here and there but not exactly pple i can like have my typical 'girlfriend' talk with or the usual shopping together kinda thing..that's why i keep dragging sidney along with me..i feel bad about it but well,he doesnt understand either..sighh..well,back to the topic..yea..but i guess i cant expect to have a whole pool of supposed good friends..thats ridiculous..im happy with my good friends anyway..yupp..and isolating myself at this point in time is good i guess..to allow me to focus on my studies..but i do feel damn out in sch..really..sidney always wanna hang out with the guys and the girls are nice but there's just something wrong la..its just this girl thing..go figure..so im kinda left alone..alvin and i have some stuff in common- our sensitivity..haha..and i guess its right to have our own space..but its like when i feel lonly and seem lonely..sidney doesnt bother in sch..and he always acts weird with me in sch nowadays..maybe its my over sensitivity..forget it..
as the a's draw closer, and for the great amount of brain cells im using to fret over it, it isnt amazing that everthing i do or see or hear nowadays i try to see whether it relates nack to like hist, econs,lit or gp..im constantly looking out for articles relating to macro econs in the papers..well,just a while longer..and it'll be over..but i wanna feel good about it so im gonna do well and maybe, just maybe ill get to go overseas..i wanna live independently..be independent..and have some freedom..i find singapore suffocating and i wanna go experiance life out there..speaking of that, i just watched this documentary on chimps last night in this reserve in siera leone..apart from the fact that the baby chimps were soooo cute and adorable, it made a huge impact on me in terms of their endangered state and also left me in awe in term of their behaviour..chimps are soo much like humans..its like they need so much affection..the documentary showed one chimp who gave birth..and its like all the other chimps acting on their instincts gathered around her to try and touch the baby and play with it..so human'like and i was left in awe coz i never knew chimps were like so similar to humans..but their no=umbers are depleting so greatly..in 1990 there were 4million of them and now there's only 110,000.. :( and this reserve is managed by a few guys who did it for nothing just coz they have the passion to..and it got me thinking about whether ill ever be able to follow my heart and go learn something that's gotta do with marine biology which happens to be sth im sooo interested in..that means having to like go back a couple of steps just to learn some science subjects..betty said if i really want it nth will hinder me, which is so true..hmm..sighh...its like a choice between taking the conventional path right now or not..and ill probably end up taking the conventional path coz im a chicken..yup..
well,got to go do my work now and catch up on sleep..hope ill be able to blog more often..tata..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/26/2004 09:06:00 pm | Put your comment here
