something happened. i dont know what. okay maybe i do. must be it.
emotionally unstable.
pathetic.
and its my birthday.
not having expectations mean yu'll never be let down.
thanks friends for everything. sandy,chengs,grace,rain,leon zhenhao.
maybe i was in your thoughts. just maybe.
"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to."
emotionally unstable.
pathetic.
and its my birthday.
not having expectations mean yu'll never be let down.
thanks friends for everything. sandy,chengs,grace,rain,leon zhenhao.
maybe i was in your thoughts. just maybe.
"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to."
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/27/2006 01:48:00 am | Put your comment here
"In hospitals, they say you know when you’re going to die. Some doctors say it’s a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there’s a scent, a certain smell. Some say it’s some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming. If today were your last day on Earth? How would you spend it?"
rain asked me this question one day. that day, i gave a different reply. now, i wouldnt wanna do what i said i wanted to that day. sometimes we try too hard to forget some things. but eventually, when it comes down to the wire, we just know deep down what we want.
on another note, im somehow not looking forward to my birthday this year. its just the fear of the memories coming back to me. but its always about building memories over those that hurt. been working well for the past 6 over months. mostly at least. hehh. =) well, we'll see.
rain asked me this question one day. that day, i gave a different reply. now, i wouldnt wanna do what i said i wanted to that day. sometimes we try too hard to forget some things. but eventually, when it comes down to the wire, we just know deep down what we want.
on another note, im somehow not looking forward to my birthday this year. its just the fear of the memories coming back to me. but its always about building memories over those that hurt. been working well for the past 6 over months. mostly at least. hehh. =) well, we'll see.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/19/2006 12:57:00 am | Put your comment here
"As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. Just when you’ve gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts. It knocks you off your feet. If youre lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip of the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal."
a bad dream last night again. getting more frequent. and disturbing. maybe for some things, what yu dont know cant hurt you. i always used to think otherwise. that i always had to know everything i could. everything i wanted to. but i guess when yu want to know something, what yu find out aint necessarily the best for yu.
and im wishing more and more for the next sem to start. got my marketing specialisation and i began planning for next sem's modules. have yet to decide on the electives to take though. and moving into the new room and foc and all. =) yes im being so forward looking eh.
hoping to meet up with the girls from hall tomorrow. after quite some time. time for some soccer now! ive been eye candy spotting eversince the world cup season started. hehh. spains the favourite team for eye candies. there's my raul, casillas, torres, david villas, alonso xabi, reyes, fabregas cesc. oh man. eye candies galore! =) those and players from portugal,mexico,italy and england. yummy. =)
a bad dream last night again. getting more frequent. and disturbing. maybe for some things, what yu dont know cant hurt you. i always used to think otherwise. that i always had to know everything i could. everything i wanted to. but i guess when yu want to know something, what yu find out aint necessarily the best for yu.
and im wishing more and more for the next sem to start. got my marketing specialisation and i began planning for next sem's modules. have yet to decide on the electives to take though. and moving into the new room and foc and all. =) yes im being so forward looking eh.
hoping to meet up with the girls from hall tomorrow. after quite some time. time for some soccer now! ive been eye candy spotting eversince the world cup season started. hehh. spains the favourite team for eye candies. there's my raul, casillas, torres, david villas, alonso xabi, reyes, fabregas cesc. oh man. eye candies galore! =) those and players from portugal,mexico,italy and england. yummy. =)
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/17/2006 01:20:00 am | Put your comment here
"I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."
french exam tomorrow!! im panicking now. just a few more hours. and i need to do well cos i didnt SU it!! smart shit. well well, back to work!
so much is still on the mind.
french exam tomorrow!! im panicking now. just a few more hours. and i need to do well cos i didnt SU it!! smart shit. well well, back to work!
so much is still on the mind.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/15/2006 01:18:00 am | Put your comment here
"A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear."
met soo many pple in just one day today. =) first up. peiying and lev. friends from wayy back in sec 1 and 2. a meeting that involved hours of trying to take the right photo. i have a million of our photos in my phone now la. tsk. then a million hours to print them properly. hehh. and that concluded our meeting. hehh. but everythings like the same. we change individually, but when we come together we converse all the same. which is nice to see.
then off to meet sandy angeline and vane. meeting for the indo trip which is postponed. and theres lots and lots to do!! sponsorship proposals and all.then off to meet the birthday boys leon and leslie. yes yes. heres a shout out to them.
HAPPY HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY LESLIE!!
and HAPPY 22nd LEON!! =)
hehh. yes.getting really old already huhh. i must get pics from kuang soon to post up. so it was off to kenny rogers for dinner. thanks les for the treat. =) and a birthday cake for them. hopefully it made them happy. yummy food. great company. thats all thats necessary.
and then met mag and chelle for a while. chatted and updated each other about our own lives. =) nice meeting them but we need more time to talk!! soon ya? =)
catching she's the man with chengs tmr. and training. dreading training. plehh. well, the week has lots in store. =)
stay happy girl.
met soo many pple in just one day today. =) first up. peiying and lev. friends from wayy back in sec 1 and 2. a meeting that involved hours of trying to take the right photo. i have a million of our photos in my phone now la. tsk. then a million hours to print them properly. hehh. and that concluded our meeting. hehh. but everythings like the same. we change individually, but when we come together we converse all the same. which is nice to see.
then off to meet sandy angeline and vane. meeting for the indo trip which is postponed. and theres lots and lots to do!! sponsorship proposals and all.then off to meet the birthday boys leon and leslie. yes yes. heres a shout out to them.
HAPPY HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY LESLIE!!
and HAPPY 22nd LEON!! =)
hehh. yes.getting really old already huhh. i must get pics from kuang soon to post up. so it was off to kenny rogers for dinner. thanks les for the treat. =) and a birthday cake for them. hopefully it made them happy. yummy food. great company. thats all thats necessary.
and then met mag and chelle for a while. chatted and updated each other about our own lives. =) nice meeting them but we need more time to talk!! soon ya? =)
catching she's the man with chengs tmr. and training. dreading training. plehh. well, the week has lots in store. =)
stay happy girl.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/13/2006 02:25:00 am | Put your comment here
alrights. im gonna attempt to upload photos. im the biggest computer idiot on earth and i wish i knew how to make collages to add everyhting in. someone teach me soon? =) so here.
sth we did out of boredom after spring cleaning rain&grace's room, where we found colourful candles. =) SsquareRG= sandy sadaf rain grace. =) quite pretty right?and we proceeded to......
take pictures with our face there! looks pretty neat with the effect of the lighted candles.andd......
with our hands and feet! =) okayy.really silly but well, we were bored. heh.
on our way to watch champions league finals. boredom+camera with grace= taking really stupid photos. and she really forced me into many stupid photos with her; mickey mouse faced, nerds, princess. yes...
yu get the idea, right?hehh.
group shot of the night. =)
sentosa for gl outing. roomie picture. =)
met loo and jingwen there. =)
all those present at the gl outing which was a rather disappoiting turnout really.
shopping at paragon! its what we do best! =)
all 5 of us. chengs.grace.me.rain.sandy.
shisha night with yihao jingwen and loo. =) quite a long while ago before the boy went off to berkeley for his summer programme.
loo, jingwen, me.
love the pic. =)
now, im just too tired to carry on adding photos. its a long tiring process ya. more from alvins house etc to come. soon! =)
had my first day of work yest. 5pm-5am. 12 hour shift on your first day. absolutely feet-hurting, back-breaking, sleep-depriving shift. what a way to start on the first day eh. body's still aching. work can be interesting and not at the same time. time will tell whether ill really enjoy it. we'll see, but for now, the money prospescts arent bleak anymore. =)
and, i miss the hall girls. everyone's missing now. busy with our own stuff. this is bad!! i wanna go out with them one day soon. :(
and and and, sidney told me he made it into ntu. im so so glad and relieved he got in somewhere. whether him coming to ntu is a good thing or not i dont know yet. but well, im glad he has made it somewhere. =)
"Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time. And sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway."
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/12/2006 01:04:00 am | Put your comment here
french lessons ended today with the oral exam and going to allianze francaise for a french exposition. =) life is at its up right now. meeting up with shenana, bunny, faith and char. =) meeting them we realised our dressing was rather coordinated. hehh. purle and green and denim. =) photos will be up when i get them. thats what i always say. i have yet to upload many many photos. hehh.which i currently am already holding. hehh. anyone wanna help me?? hehh. so out with girls on tues. ate gelare waffle before going to marina square and having kenny rogers. i was so excited at the prospects of having mac and cheese for dinner. but they didnt have it! and they didnt have a million other side dishes it pissed the shit out of me. hahh. i was all snappy and rude. hehh. well, thats just me la. that aside, it was so fun laughing and cathcing up with those girls. like i told them, they're so different from my other friends cos they're all so innocent. hehh. and its good. makes everything so simple. =)
met levina on wed. shes back and still small as ever although she claims she put on 3 kg. and that really makes a big diff la. somethings just remain the same. the way we talk about things. the way she talks to peiying and i get totally put off by their very crude conversation. hehh. looking back on sec 1 and 2 days with all the people in our class and all. we've come so far from then. the people in our lives are so different now. i probably wont be able to say much to most of them. but it would be great to meet up with everyone again.
job hunting tmr.
funny how we review so many things/people in our lives when we're forced out of the comfort zone into a whole new world.
"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."
met levina on wed. shes back and still small as ever although she claims she put on 3 kg. and that really makes a big diff la. somethings just remain the same. the way we talk about things. the way she talks to peiying and i get totally put off by their very crude conversation. hehh. looking back on sec 1 and 2 days with all the people in our class and all. we've come so far from then. the people in our lives are so different now. i probably wont be able to say much to most of them. but it would be great to meet up with everyone again.
job hunting tmr.
funny how we review so many things/people in our lives when we're forced out of the comfort zone into a whole new world.
"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/09/2006 12:26:00 am | Put your comment here
out with sandy, hongying and rain in town yest before catching a movie and going off to chengs house house to stay over. i received a call while still sleeping yesterday afternoon. it was from rain. checking up on me. to see if im all right. :) to ask me to take care. she told me what i told her hit her yesterday. about how yu think about him holding someone else's hand and in someone else's arms. kissing that someone else. its just that feeling that sucks. well ,thanks friend for caring.
benchwarmers was a great show to watch when in that state. just laugh throughout the whole show. light hearted and just really nice. while getting dvds to watch, chengs said we cant watch anything lovey dovey. hahha. cos i'd feel sad all over again. it was nice going over for our 'panty party'. hehh. :) telling her everything thats been happening, then watching shows, sleeping like pigs and continuing our shows today. :) even in my dream it didnt leave me alone. tried so hard to change the dream but it didnt work. so silly.
yet, when he spoke to me just now, i kinad liked it but i had to stop talking after a while.
thanks to chengs ive been searching for really meaningful grey's quotes. found really nice ones. there'll be daily quotes now. or whenever i blog that it. :)
i really cant wait for levina to come back.
and yu too betty, thanks for the tags. i really had the urge to actually go over to adelaide and find yu but money doesnt fall from the sky. hehh .ya. pls come back soon k?
have decided to move back home after this week. nothing in hall anymore. no one really stays there anymore. sigh. so ill just move around from home. will try to transfer my driving to ubi. crosses fingers.
quote for the day:
"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."
benchwarmers was a great show to watch when in that state. just laugh throughout the whole show. light hearted and just really nice. while getting dvds to watch, chengs said we cant watch anything lovey dovey. hahha. cos i'd feel sad all over again. it was nice going over for our 'panty party'. hehh. :) telling her everything thats been happening, then watching shows, sleeping like pigs and continuing our shows today. :) even in my dream it didnt leave me alone. tried so hard to change the dream but it didnt work. so silly.
yet, when he spoke to me just now, i kinad liked it but i had to stop talking after a while.
thanks to chengs ive been searching for really meaningful grey's quotes. found really nice ones. there'll be daily quotes now. or whenever i blog that it. :)
i really cant wait for levina to come back.
and yu too betty, thanks for the tags. i really had the urge to actually go over to adelaide and find yu but money doesnt fall from the sky. hehh .ya. pls come back soon k?
have decided to move back home after this week. nothing in hall anymore. no one really stays there anymore. sigh. so ill just move around from home. will try to transfer my driving to ubi. crosses fingers.
quote for the day:
"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/04/2006 11:53:00 pm | Put your comment here
so many of yu are trying to help me. to get me out of this sadness. i really appreciate it. ive never wanted to feel this way or dwell on things for that matter. it just comes everytime im alone. grace says im pathetic. hah. i know that. i feel that way too. been keeping myself busy to get the thoughts away. they just end up creeping back in. the feeling just somehow comes back again. sigh. im just pathetic huh. :)
someone told me to let him know what im feeling. but will it help? what will be the point of saying all that i will say? nth really. cos its over. i know that. its drilled into my system already. i asked someone, whats the point of loving someone if yu know yure never gonna get that back in return, and she said love is selfless. yu dont love someone to expect sth back. its never selfish. which is so true. i love him. but i dont expect it back. and thats why i never want him to know.
some say i love so stupidly. maybe thats true. im still young. ill learn. =)
nyc please fund the indo trip. i need to do something meaningful. im waiting for sch to start again. or rather till foc period. i like being busy nowadays. :)
someone told me to let him know what im feeling. but will it help? what will be the point of saying all that i will say? nth really. cos its over. i know that. its drilled into my system already. i asked someone, whats the point of loving someone if yu know yure never gonna get that back in return, and she said love is selfless. yu dont love someone to expect sth back. its never selfish. which is so true. i love him. but i dont expect it back. and thats why i never want him to know.
some say i love so stupidly. maybe thats true. im still young. ill learn. =)
nyc please fund the indo trip. i need to do something meaningful. im waiting for sch to start again. or rather till foc period. i like being busy nowadays. :)
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 6/02/2006 05:59:00 pm | Put your comment here
