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Thursday, February 23, 2006

so where was i? right. charlotte's production. a11 guys, dont be offended by this, but one observation i made that day was how they behaved. is it their age? or army? im not sure but they seemed so ungentlemanly, especially when they're together. this ignorance towards the women around them. with nana and cai still waiting, they flagged a cab, got in and just left without waiting for them. no offer to wait with them till peh came or let them go off first. maybe they'll mature with time but i was sure as hell irked by their less than pleasing behaviour. the only one who bothered was alvyn who ran across the street, got into a cab and brought it to me cos i was in a rush. even the taxi driver was impressed. thanks!

sunday was spent helping rain as her supporting com at x-physique. at least i got a pretty t-shirt for that. :) designed by dear rain.

mon-night cycling.photos!! it was a fun night out cycling with the glamour queens. hahha. yes. yu saw right. glamour queens. :) watching stacie cycle so fast but not progressing as fast. and grace. hehh. but my ass muscles hurt real bad. bah. it was still fun. alrights photos!!!!



pit stop one, somewhere at cck. the glamour queens!! hahha. yuankai.rain.sandy.grace.chengs.stace.me.jingwen.looloo.

meal point 1. al-azhar at bukit timah. :)

us with meijun. at 2nd pit stop.

same few with grace pointing at my ass!!

pit stop 3!stevens road. by then we were cramping up and rubbing muscle rub. hehh.

meal point 2. at the beancurd place at geyleng. after the meal we went on to check ut the prossies along geylang. interesting. wonder whether they get paid more if they had bigger boobs.hehh..okay fleeting thought.

finally at our destination!!east coast. with alberts! :) sleepy sleepy by then.


an attempted jump! :)

alrights,now more photos from mos last night! fun fun fun. first time at mos.pretty place!

on the way to mos. sandy.me.chengs.grace!

chengs and me in the pretty toilet. love the effects of the lights!


a blur but pretty pic! :)


us with derrick ong at the pure room. really really nice place to chill. but have to open bottle to get the nice comfy pace to lounge around. lucky the seniors opened. hehh.

chengs and me on the big big coushion thingy in pure room. and the guy behind who tried to get us to dance with him and we conveniently ignored him totally. sad creature really. but yup. pretty shot!

alrights its taken me forever to get this post done thanks to the numerous pictures!finally.. back to work. love staying at the 4th floor! recess week is almost over.unproductive. thats why i hate feeling this way cos my work is so affected. urgh. good and bad. right. back to studies!



lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/23/2006 11:56:00 pm | Put your comment here

Tuesday, February 21, 2006





have been having rather enjoyable days the past few days. :) flashback! fri was busy with chinese dance concert preparation and rehersals. not the most favourite thing to do. oh well. and i was made to wear a gown at the ticketing booth. bah. but all went well. then it was off for supper and photo-taking along boat quay till fullerton! :) photos!!!

us-me.rain.chengs.san.stace.grace :)

grace.rain.me.chengs.stace.

could never be happier with these guys. :)

roomie and me! :)

my publicity sec and her fellow assistant publicity. hehh. :)

us with leslie. the lucky guy. hehh. :) chengs took this photo unwillingly. hehh. her leslie surrounded by every other girl but herself! :)

grace and me. :) she says this is damn nice shot.

it was a great night out with those girls. :) really glad to have them around hall. back to hall at 2 am and i left immediately to meet shenana. had my dinnr at 3 and we walked to west coast. omg! i totally hate walking!! but well, it was nice sitting at west coast park and talking. hope yu feel better babe! though i admit it was rather cold at that time of the night/morning. and i was so tired i dozed off at one point in time. hehh. sorry babe!

sat saw me having a purt of the moment shopping trip with sandy! and i had only an hour before rushing off for charlottes production which i was told starts at 7 but actually started at 730. wasted money on calling a cab and eating so fast i looked like a greedy pig! poof. but ya..back to shopping. spent like 300 bucks. but im contented! then went to watch kent ridge play. charlotte, yu were great babe! :) acted and sang so well! after which i had to rush back to hall cos of xphysique briefing. :( didnt get to join the class for dinner/supper.

late to meet sarah now! better get going. to be continued. :)



lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/21/2006 03:50:00 pm | Put your comment here

Friday, February 17, 2006

im beginning to feel happy since last night. yay for me. :) im finally able to reconcile so many things within me and move on happily. i just hope this feeling and decision is not a fleeting one. it must stay! :) i believe this feeling never really came easy. many factors played a part. but sometimes one cant put a finger on it and neither can i say much at this point in time. i just hope everything turns out for the best. :)

cab meeting earlier. it lasted sooo long. and being the short-attention-spanned-me, i got sooo restless. yes. got distracted. started talking a bit too much. yes. my forte. and taking pictures with jiet ling's cam. felt quite bad after a while for being so distracting. sorry peeps! well, but then again, i bet it was more tiring for those in charge, like najib and amos, so i should just try not to be so easily distracted.

im a bit tired but i feel happy so i dont feel like wasting my happy feeling time by sleeping. and im not say feeling happy for any particular reason or anything. but i wanna talk to sandy ang now. but the girl's so tired. sigh. i cant seem to control my mouth but i dont wanna tell any tom,dick or harry about it. hope she isnt tired tmr!!!

okay im quite high right now. on happiness. and i feel happy that im happy. so thats double happiness. :) ive never felt better since the 22nd of november.

time to get to bed if not ill end up talking to myself! hehh.

yu respect me and ill respect yu.


lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/17/2006 04:20:00 am | Put your comment here

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

so here i sit, with ob's critical thinking-half done-assignment staring right at me. i know it has to be completed soon. if i wanna have some time to myself i gotta finish it. but then again, in the next window, there's grey's anatomy calling out to me. its like an addiction. once yu start yu cant really stop until yuve finished it. sigh. and guess what, its valentines day today. urgh. and all i talk about is work and a drama series. really. my life is that sad right now. hall seems rather quiet cos most people have just disappeared for some romantic dinner or whatsoever with their loved ones. and yes, im in still in hall. dateless by choice and not by choice at the same time. out with chengs to get the last few things for leslie's present. and i eneded up talking about him sooo much. i feel so irritated with myself. urgh. and back to hall. yes, im lonely. of course that feeling will surface.

the sweetest thing that could happen was hearing someone at my door calling for me, and upon opening it, there stood leslie, singing a valentines day song for me. yes very sweet indeed. but im sure its at chengs request. hehh. and chengs gave me flowers. a beautiful sunflower. i was so touched. that i couldnt say anything much but thank you cos tears just filled my eyes. and penning this down now is also bringing tears to my eyes. im so grateful for a friend like her. esp when she knows how sad i am right now. thanks babe. :) but i just cant help it. came back in my room, continued watching grey's anatomy. ensured my door was locked and then the tears just rolled. it sucks to feel this way. i hate it. its exhausting to drill it into my system that its all over. i looked at his pictures and this myriad of emotions overcame me(other than the crying that was already in progress). i looked so fulfilled and happy then. sigh. well, its over. one moment of reminiscence.

back to reality and here i go, to continue with the damn assignment.


lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/14/2006 07:50:00 pm | Put your comment here

Saturday, February 11, 2006

here's some photos from the basketball finals. and today. :) im happy for yu chengs!


the basketball team with taijie, our coach. :)

taijie doing his cartwheel he did in joy of winning the game. :) hehh.

us with our matric cards after the matric card fiasco we had after the game. hehh.

chengs and me. hehh. ive found a better friend in her than i thought there was. and it feels great. ive a nice nice neighbour. hope yu'll be really happy with leslie!!

sandy and me..my roomie!!!love ya bitch.. :)

us with the boss of the hall aka miss president angeline. :) floor-mates.


pretty confused about most things going on in my life. dont understand why i cant keep my thoughts and emotions stable. its irritating. urgh. one moment i find my life great and potential in improving it in many senses, and the next minute my life feels so fucked up.

but yu were right, my world didnt crumble. life still goes on. of course it has to. its so obvious. but leading one's life is no indication that things arent meant to be. im not mourning 24-7. but this doesnt mean i can live without yu. i do have happy times with my friends but this doesnt mean that yure not missed and that my life will be way better off without yu in it.and the same goes for yu. whatever the case, all im saying is that i still treasure yu and yure in my thoughts. but ive not stopped living. thats for sure.



lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/11/2006 12:20:00 am | Put your comment here

Friday, February 10, 2006

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okay. im bored. at 3am in the morning im bored. ive shit loads of work to do, assignments and tutorials to complete but im just not in the mood. bah. ih basketball was on earlier and we won! :) by one. close close game. but well. :) though after game incidents were such a bother. no respect for those who bring up such trivial matters to gain the championship. really. if they're gonna feel sooo happy winning the championship by dq-ing halls over stupid stuff really. well, we just proved that we're the superior team. against a completely basketball player team. :)

im feeling sooooo lonely. urgh. not a day passes without that thought of him. poof.


lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/10/2006 02:43:00 am | Put your comment here

Sunday, February 05, 2006

ill be there till the stars dont shine
till the heavens burst and the words dont rhyme
and i know when i die yu'll be on my mind
and ill love yu always.


while out to run some errands at parkway today, i decided to take a round in cold storage for some fruits. while walking through the aisles, ive realised how much my life has changed. grocery shopping by myself gets me in this reflective mood. i remember how he used to tell me to learn to do things on my own. and ive taken his advice. there's this certain happiness in doind things by myself. going places by myself. at the same time there's this lonely feeling. cos i only started doing this cos we arent together anymore and i dont go out in weekends much anymore. and cos there's no one to accompany me to do such things anymore. oh well, back to the main point. yes. grocery shopping has become a weekly activity cos of hall. and i really enjoy going from aisle to aisle and browsing through all that they have there, from fruits to biscuits to frozen food and at the same time check out if ben and jerry's have introduced any new flavours. hehh. yes. thats my life right now. i feel so 'housewife-ish' nowadays. i enjoy the more mundane things nowadays. some of yu guys may ne thinking, 'but, sadaf, yu club so much more now. and drink so much. and yes, get drunk so much.' but honestly, do yu really think i enjoy these things as much? i dont. i just go clubbing cos i need some place to 'let go' cos im so uptight and upset often lately. i drink cos im frustrated. i get drunk cos i feel there's nth to hold me down like before. well anyways, yes. grocery shopping. im beginning to indulge in food more. for obvious reasons. maybe thats why i love grocery shopping. the only kind of shopping i do really. just reflected on how shopping in town on thurs didnt feel the same. maybe cos im broke too. but then it wasnt as joyous as it used to be. back then i used to want to look good for yu. now i really cant give 2 shits. and when its time to face yu, i wanna look my best. and i think i do. but when i see photos from the day, i see how much more worse i look now. its so not easy at all. i still remember how it hurt initially, but i never expected it to be this hard. okay grocery shopping. im loving it. :) but its making me add the pounds too! remember to change my eating habits. thats why i look for fruits and juice and stuff that will be good for my body. no more snacks like before. :) so grocery shopping. my new love. only when i do it on my own. :)

there's so much ive been wanting to vent here, but ive just been busy and lazy. yes. i know i talk about sidney a lot. on my blog, to my friends. to each and everyone of my friends. i would tell myself at the start of the day that i wont mention him at all. but its a weakness. im just driven by that feeling to share about him. and i know it gets on peoples nerves so im gonna try really hard to keep it all to myself. im really thankful to have friends who put up with my endless talk about him. its gonna stop. i hope. someone told me i used to talk about him so much before we got together, then when we were together it was endless conversations about him and now that we've broken up, its still about him. when i think about it, it beings a smile to my face cos i know how much he means to me, but then again, my friends dont have to hear so much about it too. so it wll stop. :) maybe only once in a while yea? hehh.

its back to hall tmr. somehow this sem doesnt feel too good. ive to keep pushing myself and prove others wrong. am i really coming off as cant be bothered about my studies so much that im incompetent? i believe im as good as anyone else and im not gonna let that hurt my esteem anymore.


im just gonna listen to myself. use both the head and heart to think.

yure still the one.


lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/05/2006 01:14:00 am | Put your comment here

Saturday, February 04, 2006

home once again. flashback. the the third day of cny. felt much better and decided to go for the class gathering at alvins house. was rather woried at first but i figured that i shouldnt deprive myself of seeing my friends cos of him. and anyway these gatherings would probably be the only way i could see him. glad i went. it wasnt that bad. yet, there, i still felt so much between us. that feeling i had as well as whats there between us. but well. at the same time it was still a bit sad. and i cried after leaving but its okay. time. it takes time. and no matter what yu try to do. however much yu try to move on and tell yourself its time to move on, your feelings guide yu a certain way.

well, this week there's been no heart to go for lessons but surprisingly i went for more lessons than i did last week. though thurs pissed me off. one hour of econs and biz law was cacelled so i went over to nus to visit! i felt like a tourist there. heh. 'wandering' here and there. hehh. then it was off to town with sarah. first time in god-knows-how-long. :) got the brows plucked and window shopped. and ate good food. thanks for the company babe. then again, it was a bit sad cos i havent been going to town much eversince. and i started missing him again. sighh.

and today was crazy. i had to walk up and down and up and down north spine thanks to chinese dance stuff. and spent 2 freaking hours calling up schools. i was so tired. and have yet to buy envelopes and stamps. fuckkk. hate this. urgh. looking forward to sth in 2 weeks.

but i hate it that vday is coming up. urgh.


lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/04/2006 12:16:00 am | Put your comment here


sadaf. 19. rgs-sajc-ntu business. netball.

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