up and down and up and down. it just goes on and on. that irritating cycle. today started off well. was looking like a good day. though it would end well. had the meeting. clarence decided to use luke for the events management and modelling sponsor. proposed the idea of chair- ing next years dnd com. bought new havianas. a pretty babydoll mango dress. went for netball match. played quite well. was thinking of sandys birthday plan. next wed's game again extremes sonique. then clubbing at zouk. came home and things still looked fine. then then then the screwed up timetable issue came up. parents being asses. rain and jingwen&loos room issue. which im quite tired of hearing esp when it doesnt have to concern me. sandy pissing me off. and yu. and then i just feel helpless. and when i think i need a friend to talk to. who do i call now? cant think of anyone. scared some may be pissed. dont wanna disturb others. they may just think im being stupid. and then most of the rest have just disappeared. dosent that just add to that loneliness yu are already feeling? okay maybe this fucked up feeling will be gone tmr. most likely it will be gone. but now i just cant seem to help but feel frustrated. fucked up. highly agitated.
hahh. my mum was telling me about 6 days of the religious calender when god will confirm listen to your prayers. i told her no use one. i prayed for some impt things but it hasnt come true yet. god hasnt answered my prayers yet. and she said thats because yu never do things his way. yu never follow the religion properly. so isnt it the same as praying on other days cos no matter what your prayers are only answered when yu follow the religion closely. and god has to answer your prayers when yure religious cos he has no reason not to when what he wants from yu is to folow the religion. unless he has a balloting system for days other than those 6 days. lucky ones get their prayers answered. okay thats just lame. but then again. my mum is how freaking religious. yet her prayers are not answered. cos all she asks for is a happy family. for my dad to have some brains(well not literally, but yu get the idea). but it hasnt come true. not one bit. and this is years of praying. i remember i asked her to pray when iwanted this particular thing in my life to be rectified so bad. it hasnt yet. so whats the point of praying? of asking for tings from god? are these prayers unreasonable? is it too much to ask from god? happiness. in that particular form yu wanted it in. im not angry at yu, god. i just wish yu'd answer my prayers.
"No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie."
hahh. my mum was telling me about 6 days of the religious calender when god will confirm listen to your prayers. i told her no use one. i prayed for some impt things but it hasnt come true yet. god hasnt answered my prayers yet. and she said thats because yu never do things his way. yu never follow the religion properly. so isnt it the same as praying on other days cos no matter what your prayers are only answered when yu follow the religion closely. and god has to answer your prayers when yure religious cos he has no reason not to when what he wants from yu is to folow the religion. unless he has a balloting system for days other than those 6 days. lucky ones get their prayers answered. okay thats just lame. but then again. my mum is how freaking religious. yet her prayers are not answered. cos all she asks for is a happy family. for my dad to have some brains(well not literally, but yu get the idea). but it hasnt come true. not one bit. and this is years of praying. i remember i asked her to pray when iwanted this particular thing in my life to be rectified so bad. it hasnt yet. so whats the point of praying? of asking for tings from god? are these prayers unreasonable? is it too much to ask from god? happiness. in that particular form yu wanted it in. im not angry at yu, god. i just wish yu'd answer my prayers.
"No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie."
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 7/06/2006 02:18:00 am | Put your comment here
