its been a while. :) my life's had its ups and downs this past week. loads of work. and then there's always other stuff to worry about. last fri wasnt too good. but thanks to sandy who was such a great friend. the week has gone by in a whizz. exams are nearing and im pretty much freaking out.
photos to upload of west coast park late night outing, ih dinner, grace's 21st and mag's surprise birthday party. but im too lazy right now. another day perhaps.
a girls night out turned bad. thats last fri. yu know sometimes yu just dont feel like telling some of your friend some things. not because yu dont treat them as your friends but just cos yu dont wanna spoil the time out they were having. i really wanted to stay but i didnt wanna ruin it for them. hence i didnt make a fuss about them going to eat at pepper lunch, whose food i believe ill absolutely hate, and i just left. the urge to cry was so great. it happens when yu feel like, not just one, but basically the more important people in your life let yu down. tell me. who wouldnt have felt the way i felt that night. tears just couldnt stop themselves from running right in the middle of taka, on a friday. which led me calling up sandy in the toilet and just sobbing on the phone so no one else could see this pathetic girl, crying so bad. thanks girl, for just listening to me wail, and just being there, for offering to pay for my cab all the way back and for dinner too. :)
the past week has brought me through much. not only externally but internally. the emotions ive felt, but also what ive discovered about myself and certain decisions in life. good and bad. we always have our views about everything, everyone. friends dont necessarily have the same views about another friend. will it ever become a problem? somehow i feel it will if one's patience runs out. it's something ive always been afraid of. and this coming week doesnt feel right. sigh.
do we have a right to feel disappointed in friends cos we feel they havent been there for us? that yu do so much for them and it's not reciprocated? is it all worth it? is friendship even about doing something and expecting something in return? even if its just about being there for yu? when yuve been selfless to them and they see right through it?
after all, everyone has their own lives to worry about so what's yours to them. we'll end up leading our different lives, ultimately caring for oursleves. its quite scary. i dont want my life to end up that way.
btw, not everything here is in relation to me so dont jump to conclusions or try reading between the lines. :)
this slump wont last. there's always the light at the end of the tunnel. cliche but ah well, heck.
more contact doesnt help. really.
to be continued.
photos to upload of west coast park late night outing, ih dinner, grace's 21st and mag's surprise birthday party. but im too lazy right now. another day perhaps.
a girls night out turned bad. thats last fri. yu know sometimes yu just dont feel like telling some of your friend some things. not because yu dont treat them as your friends but just cos yu dont wanna spoil the time out they were having. i really wanted to stay but i didnt wanna ruin it for them. hence i didnt make a fuss about them going to eat at pepper lunch, whose food i believe ill absolutely hate, and i just left. the urge to cry was so great. it happens when yu feel like, not just one, but basically the more important people in your life let yu down. tell me. who wouldnt have felt the way i felt that night. tears just couldnt stop themselves from running right in the middle of taka, on a friday. which led me calling up sandy in the toilet and just sobbing on the phone so no one else could see this pathetic girl, crying so bad. thanks girl, for just listening to me wail, and just being there, for offering to pay for my cab all the way back and for dinner too. :)
the past week has brought me through much. not only externally but internally. the emotions ive felt, but also what ive discovered about myself and certain decisions in life. good and bad. we always have our views about everything, everyone. friends dont necessarily have the same views about another friend. will it ever become a problem? somehow i feel it will if one's patience runs out. it's something ive always been afraid of. and this coming week doesnt feel right. sigh.
do we have a right to feel disappointed in friends cos we feel they havent been there for us? that yu do so much for them and it's not reciprocated? is it all worth it? is friendship even about doing something and expecting something in return? even if its just about being there for yu? when yuve been selfless to them and they see right through it?
after all, everyone has their own lives to worry about so what's yours to them. we'll end up leading our different lives, ultimately caring for oursleves. its quite scary. i dont want my life to end up that way.
btw, not everything here is in relation to me so dont jump to conclusions or try reading between the lines. :)
this slump wont last. there's always the light at the end of the tunnel. cliche but ah well, heck.
more contact doesnt help. really.
to be continued.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/19/2006 03:54:00 am | Put your comment here
