ill be there till the stars dont shine
till the heavens burst and the words dont rhyme
and i know when i die yu'll be on my mind
and ill love yu always.
while out to run some errands at parkway today, i decided to take a round in cold storage for some fruits. while walking through the aisles, ive realised how much my life has changed. grocery shopping by myself gets me in this reflective mood. i remember how he used to tell me to learn to do things on my own. and ive taken his advice. there's this certain happiness in doind things by myself. going places by myself. at the same time there's this lonely feeling. cos i only started doing this cos we arent together anymore and i dont go out in weekends much anymore. and cos there's no one to accompany me to do such things anymore. oh well, back to the main point. yes. grocery shopping has become a weekly activity cos of hall. and i really enjoy going from aisle to aisle and browsing through all that they have there, from fruits to biscuits to frozen food and at the same time check out if ben and jerry's have introduced any new flavours. hehh. yes. thats my life right now. i feel so 'housewife-ish' nowadays. i enjoy the more mundane things nowadays. some of yu guys may ne thinking, 'but, sadaf, yu club so much more now. and drink so much. and yes, get drunk so much.' but honestly, do yu really think i enjoy these things as much? i dont. i just go clubbing cos i need some place to 'let go' cos im so uptight and upset often lately. i drink cos im frustrated. i get drunk cos i feel there's nth to hold me down like before. well anyways, yes. grocery shopping. im beginning to indulge in food more. for obvious reasons. maybe thats why i love grocery shopping. the only kind of shopping i do really. just reflected on how shopping in town on thurs didnt feel the same. maybe cos im broke too. but then it wasnt as joyous as it used to be. back then i used to want to look good for yu. now i really cant give 2 shits. and when its time to face yu, i wanna look my best. and i think i do. but when i see photos from the day, i see how much more worse i look now. its so not easy at all. i still remember how it hurt initially, but i never expected it to be this hard. okay grocery shopping. im loving it. :) but its making me add the pounds too! remember to change my eating habits. thats why i look for fruits and juice and stuff that will be good for my body. no more snacks like before. :) so grocery shopping. my new love. only when i do it on my own. :)
there's so much ive been wanting to vent here, but ive just been busy and lazy. yes. i know i talk about sidney a lot. on my blog, to my friends. to each and everyone of my friends. i would tell myself at the start of the day that i wont mention him at all. but its a weakness. im just driven by that feeling to share about him. and i know it gets on peoples nerves so im gonna try really hard to keep it all to myself. im really thankful to have friends who put up with my endless talk about him. its gonna stop. i hope. someone told me i used to talk about him so much before we got together, then when we were together it was endless conversations about him and now that we've broken up, its still about him. when i think about it, it beings a smile to my face cos i know how much he means to me, but then again, my friends dont have to hear so much about it too. so it wll stop. :) maybe only once in a while yea? hehh.
its back to hall tmr. somehow this sem doesnt feel too good. ive to keep pushing myself and prove others wrong. am i really coming off as cant be bothered about my studies so much that im incompetent? i believe im as good as anyone else and im not gonna let that hurt my esteem anymore.
im just gonna listen to myself. use both the head and heart to think.
yure still the one.
till the heavens burst and the words dont rhyme
and i know when i die yu'll be on my mind
and ill love yu always.
while out to run some errands at parkway today, i decided to take a round in cold storage for some fruits. while walking through the aisles, ive realised how much my life has changed. grocery shopping by myself gets me in this reflective mood. i remember how he used to tell me to learn to do things on my own. and ive taken his advice. there's this certain happiness in doind things by myself. going places by myself. at the same time there's this lonely feeling. cos i only started doing this cos we arent together anymore and i dont go out in weekends much anymore. and cos there's no one to accompany me to do such things anymore. oh well, back to the main point. yes. grocery shopping has become a weekly activity cos of hall. and i really enjoy going from aisle to aisle and browsing through all that they have there, from fruits to biscuits to frozen food and at the same time check out if ben and jerry's have introduced any new flavours. hehh. yes. thats my life right now. i feel so 'housewife-ish' nowadays. i enjoy the more mundane things nowadays. some of yu guys may ne thinking, 'but, sadaf, yu club so much more now. and drink so much. and yes, get drunk so much.' but honestly, do yu really think i enjoy these things as much? i dont. i just go clubbing cos i need some place to 'let go' cos im so uptight and upset often lately. i drink cos im frustrated. i get drunk cos i feel there's nth to hold me down like before. well anyways, yes. grocery shopping. im beginning to indulge in food more. for obvious reasons. maybe thats why i love grocery shopping. the only kind of shopping i do really. just reflected on how shopping in town on thurs didnt feel the same. maybe cos im broke too. but then it wasnt as joyous as it used to be. back then i used to want to look good for yu. now i really cant give 2 shits. and when its time to face yu, i wanna look my best. and i think i do. but when i see photos from the day, i see how much more worse i look now. its so not easy at all. i still remember how it hurt initially, but i never expected it to be this hard. okay grocery shopping. im loving it. :) but its making me add the pounds too! remember to change my eating habits. thats why i look for fruits and juice and stuff that will be good for my body. no more snacks like before. :) so grocery shopping. my new love. only when i do it on my own. :)
there's so much ive been wanting to vent here, but ive just been busy and lazy. yes. i know i talk about sidney a lot. on my blog, to my friends. to each and everyone of my friends. i would tell myself at the start of the day that i wont mention him at all. but its a weakness. im just driven by that feeling to share about him. and i know it gets on peoples nerves so im gonna try really hard to keep it all to myself. im really thankful to have friends who put up with my endless talk about him. its gonna stop. i hope. someone told me i used to talk about him so much before we got together, then when we were together it was endless conversations about him and now that we've broken up, its still about him. when i think about it, it beings a smile to my face cos i know how much he means to me, but then again, my friends dont have to hear so much about it too. so it wll stop. :) maybe only once in a while yea? hehh.
its back to hall tmr. somehow this sem doesnt feel too good. ive to keep pushing myself and prove others wrong. am i really coming off as cant be bothered about my studies so much that im incompetent? i believe im as good as anyone else and im not gonna let that hurt my esteem anymore.
im just gonna listen to myself. use both the head and heart to think.
yure still the one.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 2/05/2006 01:14:00 am | Put your comment here
