i dont get why i feel this way from time to time. there's this void tat im trying to fill myself. why dont i feel that happy in the end? everyday, im so busy with trainings and matches that it makes me feel that im fine. that im moving on. but when im free enough to think. to sit down and have some time to myself, i see that void. and i long for him. everyday i wanna msg him, talk to him, but i control myself. i know i shouldnt. sigh. am i moving on? im just leading my life, but am i really happy? on the surface everyone sees me as happy. i joke around, play around. its the only way i can keep from thinking even more and letting people see my misery. but deep down, the most fulfilling, happiest moments are really gone.
everyday i pray i dont have too much free time on hand. so that it prevents me from thinking of anything. everyday i pray that im dead tired. urgh. i hate myself for feeling this way. i should move on and lead my own life in a satisfied manner. ive realised how life can be so complicated and tough when emotions come into play.
one thing i can take away from this is that at least we shared a part of lives together.
baby i love yu and ill never let yu go
but if i have to boy i think that yu should know
all the love we made can never be erased
and i promise yu that yu will never be replaced
update on ih- volleyball was yest. won hall 11. :) didnt play much at all but i dont mind. its such a new game to me!! and softball was today. i just remember my hands trembling really really badly when i was up there batting. heh. quite a feeling. new new game as well. gotta improve on my throwing though. but we won hall 10 13-1. and i caught a ball. :) not damn fantastic la but it was first time k? hehh. :)
time to go have a bath.
yure still on the mind. but im controlling the urge.
everyday i pray i dont have too much free time on hand. so that it prevents me from thinking of anything. everyday i pray that im dead tired. urgh. i hate myself for feeling this way. i should move on and lead my own life in a satisfied manner. ive realised how life can be so complicated and tough when emotions come into play.
one thing i can take away from this is that at least we shared a part of lives together.
baby i love yu and ill never let yu go
but if i have to boy i think that yu should know
all the love we made can never be erased
and i promise yu that yu will never be replaced
update on ih- volleyball was yest. won hall 11. :) didnt play much at all but i dont mind. its such a new game to me!! and softball was today. i just remember my hands trembling really really badly when i was up there batting. heh. quite a feeling. new new game as well. gotta improve on my throwing though. but we won hall 10 13-1. and i caught a ball. :) not damn fantastic la but it was first time k? hehh. :)
time to go have a bath.
yure still on the mind. but im controlling the urge.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 12/15/2005 10:28:00 pm | Put your comment here
