one day at home and im not very okay again. this is bad. sigh. i wish i knew whats gonna happen. the feeling of not knowing just kills a person. i just wished he'd call now and end my troubles. wish i could see him and just talk. i shouldnt stay at home. the idle mind just paves the way to think of such things. pleh. well, got a call from smu already. interview for business on mon. im scared. cos i havent exactly gone for any interviews yet. gotta prepare myself well. hopefull life will take a turn for the better in a couple of days.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/31/2005 08:53:00 pm | Put your comment here
im okay..well,there are 2 kinds of okays. one is where, yu are over it, dont really care etc. the other is where yure optimistic,understanding and hopeful that things will be okay after the few weeks. well, my okay is obviously the 2nd one. but i still miss him nonetheless. the hand itches to pick up the phone and send him just one msg or make a call. but i know its not gonna do anygood. whats worse is that i know he'll be out tmr. sighh. just wanna know how he's doing. looking at all my friends, im jealous that they can be happy and im always having the problems. sighh. and i just keep thinking things will be okay. too optimistic? i dont know. does he even think of me? pleh. but im okay cos ive been having the company of my wonderful friends. esp nana, sarah and bunny. :) thanks babes. out with them again tmr. it keeps the mind busy. gonna go keep my mind busy now. heh.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/29/2005 11:28:00 pm | Put your comment here
life sure does hold many surprises. and needless to say the arent very pleasant in my case. it's been horrible since yesterday. so painful that the tears wont stop for long. they just keep coming back. it brings back horrible memories of pre a levels. what can i say, things just dont change. im scared. why cant we just be happy? after all that ive done, this is my 'reward'. shucks. i keep worrying that the break may bring about the worst. im so pessimistic yet, im hopeful. so hopeful that if things arent the way i want them to be, i dont know how ill go on. i just want to be happy.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/27/2005 01:13:00 pm | Put your comment here
what a weekend. i was really looking forward to playing street netball with the four of them-siting,peg,ade,char. did have fun. though we didnt play fantastically well. and and and i just had to sprain my ankle in the most crucial match. sigh. i feel so freaking bad. and i was probably the most looser-ish way to sprain the ankle-catching the ball. wow. seriously. pleh. it didnt seem that serious then. but now it hurts like hell. super swollen and i cant really walk. its such a chore walking up and down the stairs in the house. well, at least everyone in the house is at my disposal now that im in this state. heh. and did i mention that after spraining the ankle i still had to model. i wanted to use the 2 inch heels instead of the 4 inch ones cos of the pain. but but but i was actually being scolded cos they 2 inch ones were white and my gown was black. pleh. how inconsiderate. and i didnt bring flats out so i had to go out in my heels with the sprained ankle. my god. i was limping like an idiot when i was out with sidney. well, at least he was helping me. hehh. and it was time well spent so i dont regret the pain i had to endure. :) i dont know why i worry unnecessarily. its like totally uncalled for. i must say my brain does work wonders. well, at least now im at ease. and happy. oh yes, and i may join rugby too. heh. with mag. it'll be fun. gotta wait for my ankle to recover though. and i wanna play netball too. it's like now im so driven to play and i cant. pleh. just hope that peg and char will stay on. oh yes, one more big big big complain. i havent got my pay yet!!!the stupid poly keeps dragging the pay date!!urghhh..im so pissed off. ive like finished the whole coaching stint and i havent got a cent. bah. i need the money so freaking bad. and i need a job. anyone know of any vacancy andwhere, just tell me k? :) thanks. oh, and i finally applied to nus and ntu. decided on business first then econs. hopefully i'll get business. i really wanna do that. will complete smu app tmr. this week has to be spent rotting at home cos of my ankle..cant walk around much. bah. absolutely hate it. well, its not that i have a choice. well, wanna watch tv now. heh.. nights!
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/21/2005 10:48:00 pm | Put your comment here
i dont know what im thinking or doing sometimes. life was so simple just a year plus ago. sigh. well,had the fashion show on sunday. went quite well. there'll be one more on sat. hopefully he'll come watch it. :) there'll be street netball on the same day so i gotta run to do my hair and make up after that..pleh. craziness. ive lost interest in updating this thing. gonna go now. till the next time. bah.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/15/2005 01:00:00 am | Put your comment here
the weekend has been a pretty low point since a very long time. sucked pretty bad. results were okay. not fantastic,but better than i expected and im happy. wish he's okay. congrats to those who did well. esp all my classmates and teammates. :) happy for yu guys. been able to catch up with levina and betty lots the past 2 days. i think my phone bill is gonna escalate, what with 2 hours of talktime to the US and and hour to aussie. heh. ill get a calling card soon. ive gotta change myself if anything good is gonna come out of my life. and i will. i made that decision today and hopefully i have enough perserverance to follow it through. waiting to see him on sat. :) i gotta find a new job. darn it. shopping with the girls was fun on sunday. bought a really nice top. :) love it so much. will probably go get the same one in diff colours. hehh. i realised this entry is pretty incoherent. info scattered here and there. my brains just switched off. well uni apps have to be done in this span of 2 weeks. hopefully ill get my econs course. crossing my fingers. :) should be off now. im finding blogging a bore nowadays. bah.
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/07/2005 10:02:00 pm | Put your comment here
training on tues..didnt enjoy it too much..im really not sure what i want from netball anymore..a part of me wants to quit,but i wanna play the game..but not in that manner..the pressure, the inferiority, the inability to fit in..ill miss the sa girls if a quite for sure..playing with them has been a joy..but its different now..they're all fitting into the team and doing well..on the other hand there's me..aimlessly wandering..dont really know what im doing in the team..i felt like crying real bad after training..cos nth seemed right at all..just causing my body extra pain..it still hurts so bad..climbing up and down the stairs in the house is a torture..seriously..
then it was chinablack and zouk last night..to party away all the worries as the results await..was really fun..esp at zouk..some of the girls came over to stay..i enjoyed my time girlies..we should do this more often..just the few of us..girls only night.. :) cutting hair with charlotte before results tmr..im really crossing my fingers..good luck to everyone yar..
wanted to spend saturday with him,but now ive gotta go for the catwalk training thing for singapore fashion week thanks to my bro..so its only dinner with him..sighh..this week has been pretty topsy turvy..i just pray that things will go well from here on in my life in general..
then it was chinablack and zouk last night..to party away all the worries as the results await..was really fun..esp at zouk..some of the girls came over to stay..i enjoyed my time girlies..we should do this more often..just the few of us..girls only night.. :) cutting hair with charlotte before results tmr..im really crossing my fingers..good luck to everyone yar..
wanted to spend saturday with him,but now ive gotta go for the catwalk training thing for singapore fashion week thanks to my bro..so its only dinner with him..sighh..this week has been pretty topsy turvy..i just pray that things will go well from here on in my life in general..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 3/03/2005 11:51:00 pm | Put your comment here
