what an eventful 2-3 weeks..an emotional rollercoaster for me indeed..im full of all kinds of emotions that need to be poured out..i thought ive moved on..yure like a thorin my bloody life noww..always pricking me wherever i go..i can live without yu if yure out of my sight or be diplomatic about our r/s now..like just be friends..why avoid?guilt?i dunno..it pains me to even view things like this..its not easy for me to go to sch for the a's and have yu sit right in front of me yet not bothering..no good luck nothing..thats like worse than enemies..fuckk..yu can happily talk to everyone but not me?what am i?rubbish?noticed how things were in sch today?i keep pretending im happy when yure around..but when yure there im not..just coz yu ignore me..yu make me feel bad about myself,about how things have turned out..when we were together,knowing i was loved by yu made me feel good about myself..never thought ill ever be loved the way yu loved me..yu made me feel good about myself,made me feel pretty..made feel like the happiest girl in the world..now i feel so unpretty,so ugly so fat so lousy..just coz im ignored..see how things went in sch today?yu happily went off to watch a movie with everyone..no one dared ask me to come along..why?have i become an outcast?thanks to yu?just cos they know yu'd probably not want me around..and i wouldnt had gone anyway but its the thought that counts..the actions say it all..at least ive got pple like cai hui and xiu..i couldnt take it in the bus..i just broke down..this is very disheartening to see yu on the days of our paper and have yu act this way..fine,im not over this..but i will get over it..if not for anything but to prove i can do it and i deserve better..thats the only form of consolation i had though i had wished that 'better' was yu..funny thing is yu never even apologised..so thick skinned pple could be i never knew..but i still care..this stupid love-hate r/s i have with yu sucks..its just like mary and tyrone's r/s..just that they can overcome the hate to love and we cant..probably coz they are bound together by the bond of marriage and we were'nt..the parallels and contrasts..yu dont think i dont know certain things yuve done behind my back in which yuve wronged me like recently?but i shant say what..its okay..ill live with it..ill miss your comforting hugs and comfy shoulder to rest upon..well this is a closure to everything..yup..
yu always said i need not know the answers to many things..but hey,it just serves as a closure to everything..but i guess not..yu wont give me that closure..its okay..i wont be selfish..maybe one day your conscience will bite yu..i dunno..and i dunno what yure going through now..well i just hope yu'd do well for your a's..go move on right now,flirt with any girl all yu want..i cant say anything..just says a lot about yourself..well,take care..this is the end..
yu always said i need not know the answers to many things..but hey,it just serves as a closure to everything..but i guess not..yu wont give me that closure..its okay..i wont be selfish..maybe one day your conscience will bite yu..i dunno..and i dunno what yure going through now..well i just hope yu'd do well for your a's..go move on right now,flirt with any girl all yu want..i cant say anything..just says a lot about yourself..well,take care..this is the end..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 11/04/2004 10:44:00 pm | Put your comment here
