its nice to have this thing working again..well, its been a long long day and im super tired..emotional too..well, im kinda feeling some stuff..like a bit of insecurities as well as feeling not being treated too well..more like not being given any attention or whatsoever..bahh..when will he ever understand???tried to tell him but he just said nth,ignored my msges and probably thinks im stupid..but but but try to understnad my feelings..aahhh..well im in a dillema about sth..what to get him??bahh..and im broke but i cant not give him anything..pple were joking with me saying i dont have to give him anything for allthat ive done for him and the lack of what he's done for me..but but but im not like that..i wanna see him happy..give him sth thats significant to what im feeling..be it whether he makes an effort to make me happy or not or even the fact that he may never do such things for me..i feel for him just as much..but sometimes i just wanna feel at ease and contented and happy which i cant get if he treats me this wayy..felt really sad at some stuff that happened in sch in general not only concerning him..i felt very 'out' from the class girls..dunno whyyy..well, when we were in the reading room, heard the guys along with him talking bout going out together or sth like that and doing sth together as just guys on prom night..sighh..he may well not spend prom with me at all..and it'll just spoil my mood seeing him not bothering about me which is quite likely..but i dont want that..i was always looking forward to having a wonderful night with my friends and especially him..which may just not materialise..im not intending to bring him out in a bad light..i mean why would i when i feel so much for him..if only he could appreciate mylove for him..if only instead of wondering why i love him so much when he's mean to me and think im stupid, he could love me just as much as see the better side of it..
bahh..on a lighter note,or rather not so emotional note, had tuition today which was pretty bad considering how much i realised i didnt know..gotta study hard..in a dillema whether to go sch or go study..hmm..got so much to catch up on..i better go turn in soon..okayy..im like in a better mood noww..but i still have to go sleep..nights!
bahh..on a lighter note,or rather not so emotional note, had tuition today which was pretty bad considering how much i realised i didnt know..gotta study hard..in a dillema whether to go sch or go study..hmm..got so much to catch up on..i better go turn in soon..okayy..im like in a better mood noww..but i still have to go sleep..nights!
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/28/2004 10:55:00 pm | Put your comment here
