finally..i can blog again..hurray..yup..been wanting to pen down everything i felt every single day but didnt get the chance to..biggest worry on my hands now-a levels..bahh..im doing like fuckkk in my studies..this is bad..i mean i never did study hard enough to get like straight a's or b's but not even this bad..sighh..but im determined to work hard and do well..i hope sidney is determined too..i want him to do well.. :) well i need to settle down first..as in move to my new house quickly!!bahh..and my dad's so inconsiderate as to not showing any urgency to move asap so that my bro and me can get down to studying..well,ive gotta balance stuff noww..so confused about so many things nowww..even netball..mr teh said that sonique gonna combine and go under extremes..i will never make it into the first team la..and im so confused as to what position to play..bahh..its like im too short for a defender and dont think i can play midfield..bahh..sighh..
some things are looking up but some things are badd..im quite happy with the relationship..he's being nice to me..well, not nice as in showering me with love and stuff like that..but at least talking to me properly and we can actually go on a few days without arguing..ive learnt that i cant keep bringing up stuff though i may be unhappy about it..gotta learn to close on eye sometimes..and hope that the situation or whatever may just change la..yup..and im hoping for that in our r/s..
notice the paragraphing?thanks to betty..haha..at least it wont seem to wordy and boring..gotta go sch tmr..will leave after the lectures to go study..yupp..had a chat with a friend sometime last week in sch and the topic about friends came up..its really so true that its hard to find super genuine, true friends..and it always made me sad when i see a different side of a person i consider to be a true friend..kept thinking i have no true friends..but im so wrong..i have true,loyal friends..like betty and levina whom i know i can depend on..esp betty..thanks girlie! its so wonderful to have found a friend like yu and im soooo glad i did..at the same time im missing all my other friends..the serene centre pple and the netballers..they're all probably leading their own happy lives..with the exception of dawn tan and yun they rest are almost non existent..and the funny thing is, i dont exactly feel ive made a whole new group of friends in sa..just a few here and there but not exactly pple i can like have my typical 'girlfriend' talk with or the usual shopping together kinda thing..that's why i keep dragging sidney along with me..i feel bad about it but well,he doesnt understand either..sighh..well,back to the topic..yea..but i guess i cant expect to have a whole pool of supposed good friends..thats ridiculous..im happy with my good friends anyway..yupp..and isolating myself at this point in time is good i guess..to allow me to focus on my studies..but i do feel damn out in sch..really..sidney always wanna hang out with the guys and the girls are nice but there's just something wrong la..its just this girl thing..go figure..so im kinda left alone..alvin and i have some stuff in common- our sensitivity..haha..and i guess its right to have our own space..but its like when i feel lonly and seem lonely..sidney doesnt bother in sch..and he always acts weird with me in sch nowadays..maybe its my over sensitivity..forget it..
as the a's draw closer, and for the great amount of brain cells im using to fret over it, it isnt amazing that everthing i do or see or hear nowadays i try to see whether it relates nack to like hist, econs,lit or gp..im constantly looking out for articles relating to macro econs in the papers..well,just a while longer..and it'll be over..but i wanna feel good about it so im gonna do well and maybe, just maybe ill get to go overseas..i wanna live independently..be independent..and have some freedom..i find singapore suffocating and i wanna go experiance life out there..speaking of that, i just watched this documentary on chimps last night in this reserve in siera leone..apart from the fact that the baby chimps were soooo cute and adorable, it made a huge impact on me in terms of their endangered state and also left me in awe in term of their behaviour..chimps are soo much like humans..its like they need so much affection..the documentary showed one chimp who gave birth..and its like all the other chimps acting on their instincts gathered around her to try and touch the baby and play with it..so human'like and i was left in awe coz i never knew chimps were like so similar to humans..but their no=umbers are depleting so greatly..in 1990 there were 4million of them and now there's only 110,000.. :( and this reserve is managed by a few guys who did it for nothing just coz they have the passion to..and it got me thinking about whether ill ever be able to follow my heart and go learn something that's gotta do with marine biology which happens to be sth im sooo interested in..that means having to like go back a couple of steps just to learn some science subjects..betty said if i really want it nth will hinder me, which is so true..hmm..sighh...its like a choice between taking the conventional path right now or not..and ill probably end up taking the conventional path coz im a chicken..yup..
well,got to go do my work now and catch up on sleep..hope ill be able to blog more often..tata..
some things are looking up but some things are badd..im quite happy with the relationship..he's being nice to me..well, not nice as in showering me with love and stuff like that..but at least talking to me properly and we can actually go on a few days without arguing..ive learnt that i cant keep bringing up stuff though i may be unhappy about it..gotta learn to close on eye sometimes..and hope that the situation or whatever may just change la..yup..and im hoping for that in our r/s..
notice the paragraphing?thanks to betty..haha..at least it wont seem to wordy and boring..gotta go sch tmr..will leave after the lectures to go study..yupp..had a chat with a friend sometime last week in sch and the topic about friends came up..its really so true that its hard to find super genuine, true friends..and it always made me sad when i see a different side of a person i consider to be a true friend..kept thinking i have no true friends..but im so wrong..i have true,loyal friends..like betty and levina whom i know i can depend on..esp betty..thanks girlie! its so wonderful to have found a friend like yu and im soooo glad i did..at the same time im missing all my other friends..the serene centre pple and the netballers..they're all probably leading their own happy lives..with the exception of dawn tan and yun they rest are almost non existent..and the funny thing is, i dont exactly feel ive made a whole new group of friends in sa..just a few here and there but not exactly pple i can like have my typical 'girlfriend' talk with or the usual shopping together kinda thing..that's why i keep dragging sidney along with me..i feel bad about it but well,he doesnt understand either..sighh..well,back to the topic..yea..but i guess i cant expect to have a whole pool of supposed good friends..thats ridiculous..im happy with my good friends anyway..yupp..and isolating myself at this point in time is good i guess..to allow me to focus on my studies..but i do feel damn out in sch..really..sidney always wanna hang out with the guys and the girls are nice but there's just something wrong la..its just this girl thing..go figure..so im kinda left alone..alvin and i have some stuff in common- our sensitivity..haha..and i guess its right to have our own space..but its like when i feel lonly and seem lonely..sidney doesnt bother in sch..and he always acts weird with me in sch nowadays..maybe its my over sensitivity..forget it..
as the a's draw closer, and for the great amount of brain cells im using to fret over it, it isnt amazing that everthing i do or see or hear nowadays i try to see whether it relates nack to like hist, econs,lit or gp..im constantly looking out for articles relating to macro econs in the papers..well,just a while longer..and it'll be over..but i wanna feel good about it so im gonna do well and maybe, just maybe ill get to go overseas..i wanna live independently..be independent..and have some freedom..i find singapore suffocating and i wanna go experiance life out there..speaking of that, i just watched this documentary on chimps last night in this reserve in siera leone..apart from the fact that the baby chimps were soooo cute and adorable, it made a huge impact on me in terms of their endangered state and also left me in awe in term of their behaviour..chimps are soo much like humans..its like they need so much affection..the documentary showed one chimp who gave birth..and its like all the other chimps acting on their instincts gathered around her to try and touch the baby and play with it..so human'like and i was left in awe coz i never knew chimps were like so similar to humans..but their no=umbers are depleting so greatly..in 1990 there were 4million of them and now there's only 110,000.. :( and this reserve is managed by a few guys who did it for nothing just coz they have the passion to..and it got me thinking about whether ill ever be able to follow my heart and go learn something that's gotta do with marine biology which happens to be sth im sooo interested in..that means having to like go back a couple of steps just to learn some science subjects..betty said if i really want it nth will hinder me, which is so true..hmm..sighh...its like a choice between taking the conventional path right now or not..and ill probably end up taking the conventional path coz im a chicken..yup..
well,got to go do my work now and catch up on sleep..hope ill be able to blog more often..tata..
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 9/26/2004 09:06:00 pm | Put your comment here
