yu know its rather strange..when i saw yu playing with the guys and yu got all sweatyand was standing in front of the air con,i just wished i could go over and wipe the sweat off yu like i always do..i keep looking at yu..and when i do, this certain sadness overcomes me in a way coz i cant do anything..i cant touch your face(well, at least yu wont have so many pimples anymore..hehh), i cant even kiss yu..nothing..trying to hold on to memories is painful..i dont want yu to be my past..but i cant do anything about it..its lke everything lies in your hands..but im trying to be contented for now no matter how sad i am..and going on with this hope that maybe, just maybe yu'll want me back someday..i just feel a kind of emptiness inside me right now..i wonder what yu feel now..whether yuve gotten over this..whether yu miss me..whether yu love me..whether yu miss all those wonderful times we've spent together,..sigh..im not supposed to hold myself back..i wont..did yu see me as a burden?and now that im out of your life, are sighing in relief for yu feel like your burden's been lightened?i really hope not..i really miss yu so much..ive got to stop this!stop thinking this way..im just telling my self it'll be over soon..yu know when my brother was crying to me about his problem with his girlfriend on sun, it just seemed all so familiar..and at that time i was trying to come to terms with our break up..he was bawling to me about his girlfriend..they almost broke up..i was sitting there trying to control myself and just be there for my brother but it was uncontrollable and i just broke down..the only diff between us and my bro's r/s is that they made up in the end coz they still loved each other so much..and i was jealous..jealous that he could be happy once again in the r/s while i dont get a chance..but that was sunday..and i know nothing i say would shake yu..im not manipulative enough, cunning enough to know the traits to emotionally blackmail a person..
well anyways, i havent done my studies until now..and ive no appetite to eat..hmm..im having war against my stupid uncle..well i didnt want to..he told me never to talk to him..so good la..avoid conflict..big deal..im not dying to talk to him..cant exactly stnad him..decided all of a sudden to become super holy and comes around imposing his views on others..seriously,get a life..i have a mind of my own..stupid shit..the only thing im scared about is that because he's at war with me and my dad, he wont bother about finding a house to shit to..shit..i really wanna get away from this house..it suffocates me..my mum hates it here too..and so does my bro..then i can have my own room..like finally..after like 18 yrs of sharing room with my sis..but well my sis is going off to study soon so ill get this room to myself for a while before we shit anyways.. :) i just cant wait to shift!!hahah..just something im always looking forward to along with the fact that maybe things can get better with the both of us..hehh..just cant get the thought of yu out of my head for long..feel like telling yu how much i love yu but ill control myself..wonder how much yu love me..i wonder what yu saw in me recently that yu didnt see when yu started liking..can i still have my botanical garden picnic??i want my botanical picnic!!
well,i should be getting down to my studies but im so so so tired..i need to start staying away from the house to be able to do constructive work..maybe stay in sch up till 8 everyday to do work..actually i wanna stay in sch longer but have to find pple to stay back with me..okay sadaf..i must study i must study i must study i must study i must study i must study..haha..its like chanting..reminds me of another place..stupid boey and his stupid book..alrighty..miss yu pig!
well anyways, i havent done my studies until now..and ive no appetite to eat..hmm..im having war against my stupid uncle..well i didnt want to..he told me never to talk to him..so good la..avoid conflict..big deal..im not dying to talk to him..cant exactly stnad him..decided all of a sudden to become super holy and comes around imposing his views on others..seriously,get a life..i have a mind of my own..stupid shit..the only thing im scared about is that because he's at war with me and my dad, he wont bother about finding a house to shit to..shit..i really wanna get away from this house..it suffocates me..my mum hates it here too..and so does my bro..then i can have my own room..like finally..after like 18 yrs of sharing room with my sis..but well my sis is going off to study soon so ill get this room to myself for a while before we shit anyways.. :) i just cant wait to shift!!hahah..just something im always looking forward to along with the fact that maybe things can get better with the both of us..hehh..just cant get the thought of yu out of my head for long..feel like telling yu how much i love yu but ill control myself..wonder how much yu love me..i wonder what yu saw in me recently that yu didnt see when yu started liking..can i still have my botanical garden picnic??i want my botanical picnic!!
well,i should be getting down to my studies but im so so so tired..i need to start staying away from the house to be able to do constructive work..maybe stay in sch up till 8 everyday to do work..actually i wanna stay in sch longer but have to find pple to stay back with me..okay sadaf..i must study i must study i must study i must study i must study i must study..haha..its like chanting..reminds me of another place..stupid boey and his stupid book..alrighty..miss yu pig!
lifted a burden off her shoulders @ 8/12/2004 07:25:00 pm | Put your comment here
